Last week, we took a brief gander at some of the moments that defined the first six months of 2010, and now we’re back with the gritty remainder. Please keep your lap bar in a locked position until the ride has come to a complete stop. We do not care if you need to vomit.
Wikileaks publishes over 90,000 of the U.S. government’s classified documents pertaining to the war in Afghanistan, 20-25 of which are not unbelievably mundane. Compromised secrets include Hamid Karzai’s preference for the lob wedge to get out of sand traps, which checkpoints have the best DirecTV signal and how American soldiers are reprimanded if they leave a fountain drink on a tank.
The Solar Impulse becomes the first sun-powered aircraft to stay aloft for 24 hours. Researchers hope this could someday lead to a Boeing propelled by rainbows or an Airbus fueled by smiles.
New York City’s Landmarks Preservation Commission approves construction of a mosque and interfaith cultural complex blocks away from the site of the World Trade Center attacks, settling an issue that had morphed into a polarizing national political debate. Apparently, enraged protesters were REALLY pissed that the proposed swimming facility did not include a waterslide.
Coast Guard spokesperson Thad Allen announces that BP has permanently sealed the well rupture at the site where Deepwater Horizon capsized, bringing an end to a five-month oil spill ranked as one of the worst in world history. Company officials express optimism that the remaining oil can be taken care of with Clorox wipes, an Eddie Money T-shirt and “six to eight Swiffer pads.'
All 33 miners trapped after the Aug. 5 collapse of Copiapó mine in Chile are rescued in just enough time to become the least original Halloween costume of 2010.
Days from surpassing a 10-year run, the International Space Station breaks the Mir’s record for the longest continuous human occupation of space. At 27, Spencer Pratt still defends his title as the longest continuous human waste of space.
Burmese opposition leader Aung San Suu Kyi is released from house arrest after 20 years of agonizing exposure to Sinbad.
North Korea shells Yeonpyeong Island in response to South Korean military exercises in the area,killing four,wounding 18 and prompting return fire from the South. After a series of warlike exchanges, North Korea gets its typical last word by ordering 223 supreme pizzas to the estate of South Korean president Lee Myung-bak.
NASA earth scientists hold a press conference to announce the apparent discovery of a California organism that thrives on levels of poison that should destroy all previously known forms of life. And it’s not Keith Richards.
Happy New Year, all!
Tagged as: Humor